ah, the conveniences of the modern age

for a while i was brazen,

and the winter winds wrapped me up in their icy grip

and i just thought,

“kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself,”

but i never had the courage

until i thought of

this plan

an escape route for the 

meek

and it goes like this, 

buy a pack of cigarettes, hide it in your dresser where no one will find it, and smoke them privately, let the hot shame fill your lungs, put them out on your dignity, use your happiness as an ash tray, let all the butts pile up, just to keep track of how much time you’ve taken off your life, and since coffee goes great with the taste, drink some of that to help you stay up late, when no one is up, so you don’t have to talk to anyone, not that anyone would want to talk to such a dissapointment anyway, and immerse yourself in pointless things like drawing, or video games, or other things no one cares about, and only sleep when you feel like passing out, just to be ensured that you will sleep throughout the entire day, and not have to remember that you don’t have a job, or friends, or family that loves you, and you definitely won’t be accepted by that college you want to go to, but moving on, if you keep smoking it will help decrease your appetite, which is already nonexistant, but if you must eat just do it in small portions, and if anyone asks why you don’t eat much just tell them you’re sick, or you don’t have a large stomach, or that you’re on a diet, and no one will question you because we live in a society where being a skeleton isn’t questionable anyway, and if someone starts to question you, like your mother, just alienate them, it’s not that hard, you do it all the time anyway, to everyone, and your dad wouldn’t notice anyway, he’s never home, and he wouldn’t care anyway, he never listens, its always work, work, work, work, and when family problems start to eat away at you you can just scratch, scratch, scratch the back of your neck until it bleeds, because that’s a good spot, and if you’re worried about the scars you can always cover them up with scarves, no one ever thinks about what’s under those, and when you get compliments on it just try not to cry, just say thank you, like you always do, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you but i can’t finish this list, i just don’t care enough anymore, good luck dying on your own